Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Monkey in the Pool Room

I can't believe, in a digital age such as ours, that the lyrics for R.L. Burside's Monkey in the Pool Room, from the album Acoustic Stories are virtually nowhere to be found on the internet. This is one of my all-time favorite stories (it has a monkey in it, how could it not be a great story?) It's a good one to tell the kids at bed time or around the camp fire. Here it is. Make sure to check out the spoken version from R.L. Burnside.

Once upon a time down in the jungles, located somewhere in the sticks,
The elephant ran a pool room down there, but the baboon, he was the slick.
Didn't nobody like the monkey 'cause he wore fine clothes,
And a '48 Cadillac was the car he drove (which, it was in '48, you know).

So early one morning that elephant opened up them pool room doors,
And up drove this monkey from the coconut grove.
The elephant looked out at him and snuggled up his nose;
He was hot with that monkey 'cuz he had on some fine clothes.
That monkey had on a zip-fly sport shirt and a one-button robe.
Had on a pair of two-tone suedes and an Adam hat.
Had on a Chesterfield topcoat with a belt in the back.

When he walked in the front and started jivin' out the back,
That's when the baboon jumped up and grabbed him right square in the back.
The monkey said, "Look out man, get your hands off me!
I was only goin' outdoors to take a pee."
So he went outdoors and he peed and he came back.
He walked back in the building and said,
"Now I know all you fellas in here think I'm a fool,
But I'll play anybody in here a game of pool.
So that's what the baboon wanted to hear you know.

So they racked the balls and they racked 'em quick,
And the monkey reached in the rack and grabbed himself a stick.
The baboon was over there at the wall gettin' him a little dust,
And the first thing the monkey did is beat the fella to the bust.
The crack of the ball sounded like a .45,
And that brought scaldin' water from that baboon's eyes.
Now on the break, this monkey made the 1, 2 and 3.
Then he winked his eye at the house man and said, "Watch the game, I got to go pee."

So when he went outdoors that time,
That's when the elephant looked at the baboon with them hustler's eyes
And let him know then, there was no money in the game he could afford to let slide.
And I think it's 6 pockets on a pool table, is that right?
I know the monkey ran the 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9
All in different pockets at the same damn time.
Now the 13 was the perfect setup,
But see, the monkey, he knew not to fail,
He said, "I'm gonna bank that one with a 3-cushion rail."
Shot the 14 up the color and the 15 down the side,
Stomped his stick and winked both his eyes.

That's when that baboon jumped up and said, "God almighty damn!"
He said, "You know why I'm hot?
That monkey's out, and I ain't even had a shot!".
The monkey said, "You been runnin' around here with your nose all snotty;
If you didn't know what you was doin', you shoulda been askin' somebody.
You coulda asked your Uncle Zeke, they live right across the creek.
I cooned him once for a solid week.
I got a pair of deuces and switched out on jacks and queens.
That was the awefulest switch your Uncle Zeke had ever seen."

That was a pool-shootin' fella.


Anonymous said...

I love that you can recite this to the boys and me on demand! You're super babe!

Beatnik said...

Yeah Babe! You are the awsomest awesome. But I wanna know if you do it straight up, or in character?

jeff said...

Well...I try to do it in character, as well as a 30-something white-bread suburbanite can...

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