Monday, November 02, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

You gotta stop dancing with your head.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Always be closing if you want the knife set.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Wrongheadedness knows no color, which is why my shortie robes only come in topaz.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I don't need an adviser to know that Bud don't make me wiser.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I'm much too young to feel this damn old.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

The fundamental defect of most religious ethics consists of the fact that they label certain classes of acts 'sins' and others 'virtue' on grounds that have nothing to do with their social consequences.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Random Thougth of the Day

What is twisting your giblets?

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

For error is manifold, truth but one.

Random Thought of the Day

Some people are more than happy to look at the world through a stir stick.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Fall in love with reality.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Why does everything I whip leave me?

Random Thought of the Day

Smile like you mean it.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Brawndo's got what plants crave.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

We cannot tear out a single page of our life, but we can throw the whole book in the fire.

Random Thought of the Day

The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Life is a gradual release from ignorance.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I'm staring down myself, counting up the years.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Whiskey's too rough, champagne costs too much, vodka puts my mouth in gear.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

10,000 days in the fire is long enough.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

She works as an Australian?

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Hey, how much for that fat guy in the circle? I don't see a price tag on that.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

When you close the walls of the mind, all the rooms get smaller. - Brad The Bard (once again)

Monday, July 27, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Why don't you drop your egg hand on your holster and we'll see who's talking nonsense.

Random Thought of the Day

Ahh, peanut just fills the cracks of the heart.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

It is the varying degrees of perception that fog the mornings of the intellect. - Brad The Bard.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

The problem with trying to create an moron-proof system is that they keep building better morons.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I command you to bring us a basket of bread.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

My cat can eat a whole watermelon.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Who's your daddy? Is he rich like me?

Monday, July 13, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

That's one honkin' stomach bone you got there dude.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Frown out your one face, but with the other stare like a junkie into the TV.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I feel like the floor of a taxi cab.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Random thought of the Day

You've been sniffing banana peels again. I'm a thief, not a magician.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Bananarama is my Nirvana.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

The planet's just gonna have to buck up and wear a cup.

Random Thought of the Day

Meetings: None of us is as dumb as all of us.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Resist the permanent career chip implant.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Tommy the cat had many a story to tell, but it was a rare occasion such as this that he did.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Not you, fat Jesus. Slide it on back.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I'm looking over a tree-leafed clover that I overlooked bethree.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

You're catching me on a day where I'm throwin' 7 different kinds of smoke.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Constershon on Bilding or WallMarts

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I'm standin' next to a mountain, choppin' down with the edge of my hand.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

If I knew I hated people sooner I probably would have more money and have wasted less time.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

She was scrawny, but the moonlight was kind to her face. The shadows were even kinder.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Why do stupid people fight to stay that way?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Remember? I set you on fire at the pancake festival.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

There are so many wonderful things in life to be afraid of if you just learn how scary they are.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Wear the grudge like a crown.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Phil gets punched in the fat, the bald and the ugly.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

A pimp's love is very different from that of a square.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I buy emo metal. It cuts itself.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I smell something weird out here. Smells like somebody's been hittin' the devil's lettuce.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

And the moral of the story is, that bands with no talent can easily amuse idiots with a stupid puppet show.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Survival of the fittest. Besides, it's fun.

Friday, June 05, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I recognize that smell…smells like seven layers.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Somebody find my pants! I got work to do!

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

You know the preacher liked the cold--he knows I'm gonna stay.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Lastly, place chicken entrails or rabbits foot to taste on the keyboard and click on [OK].

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I Google for cougar all the time.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

The odds that a person is ironically wearing this shirt, plus ironically sporting a mullet and ironically driving a Camaro, are nil.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Life's the same except for my shoes.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Listen, I supersize with ya, but didn't you go to jail for not havin' enough money?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Sneaky Snake drinks root beer.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Cocoa#: What Uncle Johny calls his strap-on mama when she hasn't trimmed her fingernails.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Somebody told me you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

You poor little man...did I hurt you with my naughty little gun?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

This isn't war, it's television. This is much more complicated.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Angels on the sideline, baffled and confused; Father blessed them all with reason, and this is what they choose: monkey killing monkey, killing monkey over pieces of the ground.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I've been so thoroughly trained, I don't even have to think before I speak.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Two lefts don't make a right, but three do.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I don't suppose anybody took the time to wipe down the kitchen.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I am not the type of dog that could keep you waiting for no good reason.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Get in your mouse and get out of here.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Art Linkletter was right--kids do say the god-damndest things.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Yellowstone Pictures

Here are some pictures of our trip to Yellowstone. More to come.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I wonder what it's like to be a super hero. I wonder where I'd go if I could fly around downtown. From some other planet, I'd get this funky high on yellow sun. Boy, I'll bet my friends would all be stunned.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

What Awaits Application Developers in Hell

SELECT @office = + '<br>' + '1) E-mail: <a href="mailto:'+ email + '" >'+ email + '</a><br>' + '2) Call:'

Yes, you are actually looking at SQL that returns HTML. You can't believe how fantastic it was to track down where the fuck this content was coming from. A stored procedure--why that's exactly where anyone would look for HTML content, I must be a complete dumb-ass for not thinking to look there in the first place.

Random Thought of the Day

People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Incubus, Really?

I think I'm going to sue Incubus for stealing a hardcore metal band name. I mean, wouldn't you expect a band named after demons who have sex with sleeping human females to be a raging, split-your-head-open metal band? Come on posers, find a name that fits your genre, don't steal a good name that could be used appropriately.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while the article is still on the presses.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Spiritual suicide infers that people make a conscious decision to abandon their faith. Yet it isn't simply a matter of will. Many people want desperately to believe, but just can't. They may feel tortured that their faith has evaporated, but they can't will it back into existence. If an autopsy could be done on their spiritual life, the cause of death wouldn't be murder or suicide. It would be natural causes--the organic death of a belief system that collapsed under the weight of experience and reason.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Regrets are better left unspoken. For all we know this void will grow, and everything's in vain.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I guess the balls are agnostic.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

By the time you hear the siren, it's already too late. One is in the morgue and the other in jail, one got wasted and the other's a waste.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Aviary: Online Photoshop-Style Tools

For those who would like to be able to use tools like Photoshop but don't have several hundred (or even thousand) dollars to spend, the founder of has created Aviary, a set of online image editing tools. I've used GIMP, a free PC-based image editor, and it's fairly decent (especially for the price). After a cursory glance at the Aviary tools, they seem to be pretty good. They were just released, so I imagine features will continue to be added as time goes on. I encourage you to check them out and use them for all your Photochopping needs.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

The overwhelming majority of people who like Shakespeare don't actually like Shakespeare. They like the supposed intellectual and cultural superiority that accompany liking Shakespeare.

Random Thought of the Day

Ignorance is preferable to error, and he who believes nothing is less remote from the truth than he who believes what is wrong.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards.

Friday, April 10, 2009

What Awaits Database Administrators In Hell

Genius of the Day award to the first person to tell me all the things wrong with this goat-f***(other than the column names being blurred--I've done that for the sake of security). And since it's impossible for you to know, I'll give you the one about not a single column name with the word "ID" in it. This is an actual table from the database I'm working on. This is about as close to 0th normal form as you can get without actually being there. There are 100+ tables that fall into this model. Yes, please weep for me Argentina.

Random Thought of the Day

It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

You live and you learn, and you crash and you burn, and you're gone.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

When I grow up, I'm going to ride an ostrich to work every day.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I've done the math enough to know the dangers of our second guessing.

Friday, April 03, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight losing my religion.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Honey, Did You Pack the Brimstone?


- noun

  1. a hill near Jerusalem where Jesus was crucified.

  2. a place of suffering or sacrifice.

  3. a place of burial.

  4. literally, skull

Fun Park

- noun

  1. ummm...a park where you have fun.

I wish I could make this stuff up. I couldn't come up with Golgotha Fun Park even if I dropped a hit of acid and read the Bible upside-down while watching a David Lynch movie in a jock strap.

This is (or was) an acutal "Biblical Golf" attraction in Cave City, Kentucky. I can't imagine why in the world it closed down. I mean, who wouldn't want to pack up the kids on a lazy Saturday afternoon for a rousing round of suffering and sacrifice? Wait a minute...isn't that what Sundays are for? I digress.

I would really like to see what kind of people would not only come up with this idea, but then have the presence of mind to think it was a good, solid one. Let's not even talk about the people who would actually take the time to go there (other than to take pictures of the sign to prove that a new level of choadness has been birthed).

I mean, really, can you just imagine the conversation: "Hey Cletus, pack up the yung-uns, we's a-gonna go to that there hellfire park. If'n ya hit that platic Jesus with yer balls again, you's a-gonna git struck by ligtnin'."

I was going to put this in the same category as the "Haunted Hell" houses at Halloween or the "Let's write Jesus Loves You on the sidewalk so we can make a difference" kind of thing. Can't do it. This thing just defined it's own category. Of all the things I've ever seen that make Christians look crazier than shithouse rats, this one takes the cake. Those Kentuckians might want to consider not using moonshine for communion.

Random Thought of the Day

I can't help it, I'm a greedy slob. It's my hobby.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Annie, you're OK. But you're jealous. But you're OK.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

So this is how liberty dies…with thunderous applause.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

It was all new to Bill, this business of nocturnal emissions.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

He wakes up in the morning, does his teeth, bite to eat and he's rolling. Never changes a thing; the week ends, the week begins.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Stop steamin' up my tail! What are you trying to do, wrinkle it?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

When you're thinking of a joke and nobody's gonna listen to the one small point I know they've been missing around here.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Don't Know Whatcha Got Til It's Gone

I never, ever thought I would say this as long as the world was round, but I absolutely love cubicles. We're getting ready to move to another floor, and since our cubicle panels will need to be moved, they thought now would be a good time to have them recovered. So our panels were removed last week. Talk about feeling like you're in a fish bowl. It's only eight weeks, I can get through anything, right?

The worst part isn't that your every move is on a grand stage. It isn't the added noise, or the added visual distraction. It isn't even that you can plainly see that people are indeed utter slobs. No, the worst part is that you can stand up to take your lunch to the fridge, happen to glance over at someone we'll call Turbo and see him knuckle-deep in the booger vault.

And then there's Uncle J., the creepy, meat-gazing freak who roams around with that special glint in his eye (is that a daub of What-About-Mary mousse hanging off his chin?) With no walls, his man-per-scan ratio just increased by orders of magnitude.

Can I pleeeeez have my 8X8 cell back? I'll never complain again. Dilbert always complains about cubicles. He can f*%# off, because he apparently never experienced the alternative.

Random Thought of the Day

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Earl took out a match & scratched his pants & lit up the unused half of a dollar cigar & took a puff, says, "My, ain't this purdy up here?"

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Random Thought of The Day

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Keep Swooning, Numbskulls

This is just too choice to pass up. Though I refuse to talk about political positions, I will continue to bust on the Obamabots every chance I get. You thought you were getting the suave, polished, man of the world? The totally hip, happenin' hepcat who would so impress world leaders that they would convulse and slobber over him like you do? Guess again dumb-ass.

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown just finished paying a visit to the Anointed One. As is customary, the two leaders exchanged gifts. It's a meaningful gesture that underscores the long-held relationship between the two countries.

PM Brown came bearing some rather impressive, well-thought-out and symbolic gifts:

The Prime Minister gave Mr Obama an ornamental pen holder made from the timbers of the Victorian anti-slave ship HMS Gannet.

The unique present delighted Mr Obama because oak from the Gannet's sister ship, HMS Resolute, was carved to make a desk that has sat in the Oval Office in the White House since 1880.

Mr Brown also handed over a framed commission for HMS Resolute and a first edition of the seven-volume biography of Churchill by Sir Martin Gilbert.
Wow. The whole anti-slave sister-ship piece of history...very well done, Mr. Prime Minister. And what did you receive in return from the long-awaited Messiah of Diplomacy?
A set of DVDs. Barack Obama, the leader of the world's richest country, gave the Prime Minister a box set of 25 classic American films - a gift about as exciting as a pair of socks.
Thanks for the Wal-Mart special there, Slick Rick. Not to mention that the Prime Minister reportedly doesn't even particularly care for movies. All you choads who are rubbing your backs raw with self-congratulation because you think you elected the most refined, enlightened leader in the history of world history can take a tea bag on the chin. Make that a Chuck Norris potato sack. And no spitting either.

I have a friend at work who is very cool. While she's not a mindless swooner, she "likes his style". Well, there's some style for you. Style like Cousin Eddie's white patent leather shoes. Dude just pulled the diplomatic equivalent of swinging by the Stinker Station on his way home on Christmas Eve to pick up a dashing set of Yosemite Sam "Back Off!" mud flaps for the wife.

And now for the best part [drum roll]...the Obamatons will continue to be all verklempt over a man who is showing himself to be more of a rube than Dan Quayle in a Doonesbury panel.

Random Thought of the Day

I am determined that my children shall be brought up in their father's religion, if they can find out what it is.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

It is rather difficult being rich. If it weren't for the money, I'd rather be poor.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Got my pills against mosquito death.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I'm not honest, but you're interesting.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Feel Good, Inc.

Here's a short video of Ben (on bass) and Isaac (on drums) playing Feel Good, Inc. by Gorillaz. They're coming along quite well :)

Friday, February 27, 2009

J.C.'s Platinum Rule

Don't do unto others as you would have them do unto you; do unto others as they would have you do unto them.

I would have to agree, because some people don't want to be smacked on the ass and have their hair pulled.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

May the black cats and alley rats never cross your lucky path.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Random Thought of the Day smell something?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I will now express my feelings through the ancient art of emoticon wielding.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Strike me down with your hate and claim your refund.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I need to put my dinner in my phone.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

And I was not the answer, so forget you ever thought it was me.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Boise Drum Lessons Review

Isaac's been taking drum lessons from Blake Durst at Not only is Blake a working musician, he's a wicked good drum teacher. He's a young guy who knows his stuff (he has a music degree), he's a kick-ass drummer, and he knows how to teach. He's fantastic with kids. Isaac's been thriving under his instruction. If you're looking for a drum teacher in Boise, I can't recommend Blake enough. He's fun, professional, energetic, and he's exceedingly accountable--something that seems to be lost on a lot of musicians. To top things off, he has good rates. Give Blake a call, you can thank me later. And don't let his (up to this point) meager web site scare you off--he's too busy doing real work to be a web master.

Random Thought of the Day

To make honey, bee need young flower, not old prune.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Rex was a Texan outta New Orleans, and he traveled with the carnival shows. Ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars, and he candied up his nose. He caught wind of the Big Brown Beaver, so he thought he'd take himself a peak, but the beaver was quick and it grabbed him by the kiwis, and he ain't pissed for a week.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

If I could, I'd wish it all away, if I thought tomorrow they'd take you away.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Brokeback Mountain isn't just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

You had something to hide. Should have hidden it, shouldn't you? Now you're not satisfied with what you're being put through.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I called this meeting, and it's not a meeting until someone's time gets wasted.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Finally you get it: the world ain't fair, eat you if you let it.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

You're a supermarket punk rock television comedy.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I never understand why everyone is in such a hurry and why being late is so bad. I am always late and nothing bad ever seems to happen, so relax and be late more often. - Neal J.

Monday, February 02, 2009

System.IndexOutOfRangeException On LoadControlState Event

Today we came across some sudden errors in our web-based apps.

System.IndexOutOfRangeException (Index was outside the bounds of the array)

with a stack trace of:

at System.Web.UI.WebControls.GridView.LoadControlState(Object savedState) at System.Web.UI.Control.LoadControlStateInternal(Object savedStateObj) at System.Web.UI.Page.LoadAllState() at System.Web.UI.Page.ProcessRequestMain(Boolean includeStagesBeforeAsyncPoint, Boolean includeStagesAfterAsyncPoint)

The stack trace makes it appear to be server-related rather than application-related. That indeed turned out to be the case.

Cause - some of the servers in the web farm had a .Net service pack update, and the other ones didn't.
The viewstate was getting all wrapped around the axle when going from an updated server to a non-updated one, and/or vice-versa.

Solution - Ensured all servers in the farm had the same .Net framework service pack.
If you're seeing this error (with a similar stack trace) chances are your server cluster suffers from the same problem.

Air Souce in Kuna

I rarely recommend professional services of any kind. Usually I'll have a great experience, recommend the company, and it turns out to be a yawner at best for the person to whom I referred the company. I'm making an exception.

Last week I had Air Source in Kuna run a natural gas line in my garage. I called Shawn (at the recommendation of a friend), and he was very helpful and friendly. I set up an appointment for Friday. He called on Wednesday, said he had a cancellation and asked if they could come out now. Roy and his son showed up, did the job quickly and did it very well. You can't ask for more: fast, friendly service, great work, all at a reasonable price. They make you want to do business with them. I will absolutely call Air Source for any heating, ventilation, air conditioning or gas line work I need in the future. I suggest you do the same (they do work all over the valley): (208) 573-1344.

UPDATE 2/13/2009: OK, I had to include this. When I had initially called, I told Shawn what I wanted and that I understood he'd need to come look at it before committing to a price. He said, "Nah, that's a simple job, it'll run between such-and-such amount and so-and-so amount." Hmmm. You never get anyone to commit to a price before looking at the job. Nice. Of course, we all know that whenever a price range is given, it always ends up being the upper figure. That's just the way these things work. Nope. I got the bill and it was the lower figure. Once again, Air Source completely exceeded my expectations. These are great guys and they deserve your business.

Random Thought of the Day

Never mind your Toyota Prius, I'm going donkey power.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Intellectual Honesty

No matter how much we've thought through things, many (if not most) of our beliefs are the result of preconceived notions. We rarely challenge them beyond the surface. We all have a set of arguments we use to defend our beliefs. Most of those arguments are nothing more than pat answers that prevent us from looking at things with an untainted eye. We pretend to really examine things, but in reality we only do so up to the point where we know the belief isn't actually threatened.

Name one personal belief that you have sincerely challenged the validity of in the last year. I'll start: the belief that one political party gooood, other political party baaaad.

Random Thought of the Day

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.

Monday, January 26, 2009

I Actually Saw This With My Own Eyes

Getting coffee this morning at my favorite coffee house, I saw this and had to get physical proof:

It's not a Messiah Complex if he actually saves the world

Unbe-f#$%ing-lievable. Now, before you chide me for breaking my "no political discussions" rule, hold up. Commenting on creepy-assed, doe-eyed nutters whose fawning, all-encompassing devotion is on par with that of a Stepford Wife, is not a political comment but a social one. You want to support one politician over another? I couldn't care less. I don't base who I like or hang out with on such things. But if you're so taken in by any human being that you do anything other than stare in disbelief at quotes like the one above, you're way too much of a freak for me. And I have a gargantuan tolerance for freakiness.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

I will take any position, as long as it doesn't involve having sex with old ladies for money, or bear traps. Those are my two bugaboos.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

We should be long past applauding politicians of any hue: they got us into this mess. The best deserve a probationary opportunity to prove themselves, the worst should be in jail. It is questionable whether the present political system can survive the coming crisis. Whatever the solution, teenage swooning sentimentality over a celebrity cult has no part in it.

Random Thought of the Day

Run a carbon-black test on my jaw, and you will find it's all been said before.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Lost Thought of the Week

You know, maybe if you ate more comfort food, you wouldn't have to go around shooting people.

Random Thought of the Day

"Do you believe in God?"

"Well, somebody is out to get me."

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

My Recording Studio, Part Deux

I finally figured out the solution to my problem. All I had to do was go to the garage, get the Pinnacle TV tuner I bought for my PC (yet another woot gem), plug it into the USB port, tune to channel 6.1, and I'm off to the rodeo. I can record to the hard drive and then burn it to DVD so I can watch it on my 56" TV instead of the 14" laptop screen. Oh, wait a minute...that's right, I'm still me.

I can watch live TV no problem (if you define "no problem" as the tuner taking up 85% of the CPU on a one-year-old dual core 64-bit PC with a couple gigs of RAM). It was taunting me--triple-dog daring me, in fact--to attempt recording. I bit and found the CPU soaked at 100%, making for a signal that's more choppy than a Verizon call on Meridian Road. Alas, I ended up suffering through commercials to get in the season premier of Lost. But the TV signal won't win. It's becoming personal, kind of like the time I spread 9 coats of paint upstairs in order to get it to look the way it was supposed to. I'm going to throw one of these things at it, and it'll be all over.

And, by the way, Lost kicked ass. It's getting a little too sci-fi for Julie, but I'm digging it hard.

Genius of the Day Contest

Tell me what logo the following image belongs to. Super bonus round: tell me specifically what symbol comes to mind every time I see it, and you take the cake.

Random Thought of the Day

One after one by the star-dogged moon, too quick for groan or sigh, each turned his face with a ghastly pang and cursed me with his eye.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

You'd Think These Stupid Things Were Made By Apple

A couple of months ago, I got a smokin' deal on an upconverting DVD player/recorder from woot. I was especially hopped up on goofballs about it because, since we got rid of DishNetwork (and consequently our DVR), I was afraid we'd have to actually sit through commercials when Lost starts back up. Did I immediately set it up to record? No. Me being the me that I am, I waited until the night before the season premier to get the recording in order. Really, how hard should it be? It's already hooked up to output to the TV in our bedroom--all I should have to do is run an output from the TV back to the input on the DVD player. But then I realized I had a lapse in judgment by forgetting that I am me.

It started out easy enough. Grab the cables, loosen the TV's wall mount so I could get to the outputs. Funny, I can't see any video output. There's the audio output. Since I can't completely see the back of the TV, I'll go grab my manual to see where the video output is. Even funnier, the manual for my TV isn't in the drawer where I put every single owner's manual I have. No problem, that's what the internet is for. The PDF I found doesn't show any video outputs, although I do see the two audio outputs.

All is not Lost just yet. I'll just swap it with the DVD player upstairs, surely the TV up there has an output. The hilarity continues when I find (after making a visual check, finding that the manual for that TV is also missing and looking up the PDF manual for it as well) that it also has no video output.

Being the ingenious bloke that I am, I remember that I have an RF converter--you know one of those things that you use to plug an old-style cable into so you can hook it up to a TV that only has component inputs. I'll just hook into the antenna signal with a splitter, plug it into the converter and then output that signal to the DVD recorder. And now for the punchline--the RF converter doesn't work. So now we'll have to endure an hour-and-a-half of commercials in order to see 30 minutes of Lost.

Did I really buy the only two HDTVs in existence with no video output? What are the chances of that? Oh, that's right...I'M ME, of course I did. Who the hell makes a TV with no video output? If I didn't know any better, I'd say they were made by those masters of leaving out basic features, Apple (can you say no MMS or cut/paste on the iPhone?). Just as I was typing this paragraph, I got a notification that my friend Steve left a comment on my Facebook page: "Have you ever seen *any* TV with a video out?". You may think you've never seen one, but I know I have. This is strangely reminiscent of whole Blues Traveler/Sister Hazel debacle. Time to go find my tinfoil hat. I'm pretty sure it's getting drunk and picking up chicks along with my two TV owner's manuals.

As Zack De La Rocha Said...

F&%# it, cut the cord. On Jan 26th, we're getting rid of our land line and going solely with cell phones. Oooh, scary. The only people that call us on our home phone are telemarketers, pollsters and people we ignore when they call our cell phones. If you're one of those people, you have a week to get your fun in. If you don't have our cell phone numbers, there's a reason.

Random Thought of the Day

It's got to be another human being. Nothing else could sing that badly.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

How many cats can wear boots, honestly?

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Somebody said they saw me
Swingin' the world by the tail,
Bouncing over a white cloud,
Killin' the blues.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

The mind is a wily monkey; sometime him take-a de banana, sometime him don't.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.

Monday, January 12, 2009

How Did This Happen?

How sad is it that you have to go to a tire store to get good old-fashioned movie-theater-style popcorn? You know, the stuff that's soaked yellow to the core with the REAL fake butter flavoring, so salty it makes your lips fall off. I think it's time to get the tires rotated.

Random Thought of the Day

He's in a sad state of affairs. He has the brooding, self-loathing mind of an artist but lacks the creativity to put it to any use.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Still practicing my forgettin'. It ain't workin'.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

You can never get enough pizza. It's against every law of physics, except gravity.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Just Drink the Apple Juice

What will Steve Jobs come up with next? Check out the new Apple MacBook:

Random Thought of the Day

You live your life, and I'll live mine. I'll bet you will turn out fine.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

Whatever the party is, that's the party I'm at.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Random Thought of the Day

He rambles on and on. He'll talk the balls off a rhinosaurus.